Cold weather, warm hearts, as four friends have met to ski together every winter for 34 years

By Louise Rachlis

The adventure began when the four women had eight children among them, the youngest two just toddlers, and another toddler was soon to join the crowd and make it nine.

Now, 34 years later, the children have all grown up, six are married, and there are five grand-children.   The youngest three children are each 34 years old, as their mothers look forward to their 35^th trip together!

The four longtime friends - Lynn Graham, Louise Archer, Mary Dawson and Mira Mossop - have been meeting up every winter to ski together, and haven’t missed a year, despite demanding schedules. All in their early to mid-70s, they celebrate milestone birthdays together too, usually with a lunch.

Mira and Lynn met through their husbands, who were friends. Lynn was friends with Peter Dawson from their CUSO days in Ghana; Louise knew Mary from university, and Mira from working at IBM. They are retired, except for Mary, who is Parliament’s Conflict of Interest and Ethics Commissioner.

Back at the start of 1984, three duos began discussing “a little ladies’ getaway” to ski. “Two of us had toddlers, and one was about to adopt a child in the near future,” said Louise Archer, who provided the photos and much of the information for this story. “A winter ski weekend seemed like a perfect way to recover from the excitement of Christmas, with in-laws visiting and children home from school. We all appreciated the idea of fresh air and exercise.”

The three pairs soon decided to make it a foursome and take their first trip to Hovey Manor in the Eastern Townships, particularly appropriate because three of the women had grown up in Montreal.

“Extreme cold challenged our first trip,” said Louise, who recalls skiing to another resort and asking if they could have hot chocolate to warm up. “The resort was not very accommodating as we were not staying there. Not my idea of customer satisfaction!”

Their destinations have varied from the Laurentians, Rigaud in west Quebec, to Lake Placid, Algonquin Park, and Montebello. “We all had busy lives, husbands who travelled, so this weekend was a relaxing respite from all the demands.”

 On the women’s weekends away, the four husbands soon started getting together for a video/pizza party with the nine children, and then they took them home to babysitters and went out for a gourmet dinner, joined by a fifth friend,  who also appreciated fine restaurants.

The four women looked forward to their meet-up every year. “We loved the skiing, good dinners, board games, and chance to catch up with each other’s lives. It is good to spend time with friends.”

There were years when one of them was stressed by an elderly parent having passed away, or in hospital, and the group was most supportive. “We’ve seen each other through broken bones, a divorce, a bout with cancer, children’s weddings, retirements, being widowed, and the ups and downs of life,” said Louise. “I certainly think of the weekend as one of the most predictable highlights of the year. Now we are more interested in any spa services offered, and will only ski in great conditions – warm enough, good snow, flattish trails. Incredibly, we have never had to cancel once a date was chosen.”

Their shared memories abound - “the year we missed the turn to Ottawa in a snow storm and went several miles out of our way as we played trivial pursuit in the car; the early years when we met for tea to discuss the timing and destination (now it just takes a couple of emails and phone calls); the dinners in St. Jovite where they played the same Zamfir tape about a dozen times during the meal;  the time in Ste. Adele when we had confusing trails we found a road and called a taxi to return us to the hotel before dark (the husbands never let us forget this move); staying at a former monastery where the monks’ rooms were so small we could barely open our suitcases; a dining room that had birds of prey – live! on a high shelf; the hosts who wouldn’t  give us a second piece of bread with our soup at lunch; the one and only time we trekked to Algonquin Park and were asked to take our sock clad feet off the rustic coffee table; our return to Hovey Manor when we celebrated our 20^th year by adding a third night, which happened to be Valentine’s Day and we were each given roses; and, celebrating our 30^th year by spending a week in St. Lucia where we swam daily instead of skiing.”

The families all recognize it as a venerable tradition, and as the women prepared for their 34^th meet-up, they were appreciative that their husbands all supported those adventures. The men too have established great friendships in the process.

“This is our sixth stay at Chateau Montebello, where the lobby is welcoming, the pool is an option, spa services are great, and best of all, one trail is flat. It is even rumoured that two or three forgot their skis at home.”

Cadillac survives five generations, still revving its engine for Sunday drives

By Louise Rachlis

On the August long weekend, a gleaming 1956 Cadillac will be officially unveiled at the Cowan Family’s Annual Croquet Tournament at their Heart Lake cottage in Quebec.

The family’s annual reunion is a big deal - the Ottawa Citizen did a full page story 30 years ago - but the presence this year of the Cadillac makes it even more special.

The Cadillac travelled a long road to be there, beginning with its original owner, Alec Benson Cowan, who lived at 516 Queen Elizabeth Drive. Alec and his wife Frances Elinor (aka Nell) built the original family cottage in Quebec, started the croquet tournament, and bought the ‘56 Cadillac.

Alec Benson Cowan (1892-1976) passed the car to his son, Ira Benson Cowan (Ben, of Aylmer Ontario), who in turn passed it to his son, John Cowan.

In 2003, the car passed to Eric (Alec’s grandson) and Dan (his great, great, grandson), who purchased the car off of John Cowan’s estate to create a scholarship trust fund for the school where he taught.

 Alec’s great grandson and conservator Justin Johnson is currently restoring the Cadillac’s original bill of sale.

The car was parked on blocks for most of the last 13 years, and “people would needle me about when I was going to do something about it,” said Dan, who lives in Alta Vista with his wife Allison, their son Jack, 14, and daughter Grace, 11.  Dan works for the federal government, and Allison is with The Conference Board of Canada.

After replacing a number of engine components themselves in spring 2016, Dan and Eric heard the engine roar to life for the first time in years. This sound inundated Eric with childhood memories of fishing with his Grandfather Alec.  With a renewed commitment to restoring the vehicle, they invited family to help reach the finish line together.

Family elder Alan Roffey of Toronto jumpstarted the Caddy fund with a generous $1,000 contribution and others soon joined in.

The family now maintains a Facebook group, Alec Cowan’s Original 1956 Cadillac, to share their car memories and chronicle the restoration at Wicked Garage, in Greely.

Dan posted:

“On November 1st, 1956, Alexander B. Cowan (Alec) of 516 Queen Elizabeth Drive, Ottawa, ON traded in his ‘54 Buick for a new 1956 Series 62 Cadillac Sedan. Memories of this iconic car with the telltale Cadillac fins and chrome trim now span five generations.

“By all accounts, the ‘56 Caddy has been through it all... business trips, fishing trips, family road trips, vacations, weddings, funerals, croquet, reunions, accidents, repairs, storage, restorations and countless drivers….

“With your generous support we’ll be able to reintegrate Alec’s Caddy into our lives and continue making new memories for another 60 years to come. Weddings... graduations... reunions.... croquet....family portraits..... Sunday drives.... Just imagine them all with the original family car. Let’s do this together.”

It was a five-month project, involving lots of time in the garage, sourcing and ordering special parts, and satisfying the safety checks.  

When a locksmith opened the glove box, they found a handwritten note which listed the codes for songs on the custom horn including “Hail, Hail, the Gang’s All Here.”

Also in the glove box was the original owner’s manual. It contained such instructions as: IMPORTANT: PUSHING OR TOWING – Your Cadillac should not be towed or pushed for any greater distance than normally required to start the engine.

Another funny instruction in the owner’s manual was “TO STOP – release the accelerator and step on the brake.”

In 1956, Phil Cowan, Alec’s only surviving son who now lives in Texas, was in his final year in Engineering at Queens and driving a rusted out Morris Minor. “I drove home from Kingston at Christmas and froze my butt. The Morris had no heater and there were big holes in the floorboards. When I was off to visit my lady friend, Dad asked if I would like to drive his new ‘Ford.’ I was shocked and excited to head out in the Caddy. Had great fun showing off and probably put more miles on it than he had in the previous month. Fond memories of that car. I wish I looked as good as it does these many years later.”

Family members have been credited with restoring specific parts of the vehicle.  For example, Maia Roffey, Alec’s great granddaughter, paid for a vanity licence plate, after hosting an online poll of what it ought to be. On October 30, bearing new licence plate “COWAN 56”, the car had her first Sunday drive out on some country roads, performing beautifully.

As work progressed, Dan posted: “Nothing’s easy with old cars!!!! One of the last stumbling blocks we are facing is that of the windshield wipers. The old wipers operated on vacuum pressure created by the running engine. At first they didn’t work. Then for a while they worked, but extremely slowly, and then there was a brief period when we couldn’t shut them off!!!!”

On October 13, he added: “Squared our account with Wicked Garage today. Latest round includes buying and installing the gauges, lots of wiring and electrical tidy up, fabricating a ‘battery tray’ to hold that funky battery, removing and straightening a terribly bent ‘tie rod’ - likely from a bad tow job at some point, lots of diagnosis and repair/replacements to get the horn and lights all working properly, and fixing a hole in the exhaust. Thanks again Wicked Garage and Jeremy for all the great work.”

Dan and Allison’s children Jack and Grace are the fifth generation to be riding in the Cadillac, which has always been stored indoors in the family’s garage.  “The real miracle of this car is that the Cowans aren’t really a car family,” said Dan, “and yet, the car and the croquet trophy are among the only heirloom artifacts that have survived five generations. I’m grateful to all the generations that have come together to help keep this family heirloom alive and running.”

Dan Cowan will be part of the Human Library feature of the June 17th “Seniors Month and Age Well Celebration” at the Nepean Sportsplex, and he looks forward to chatting with people there. The show details and human library members are listed at www.agewellsolutions.ca/seniors-and-families/agewell-celebration/ .

Heritage apartment building continues to thrive with ‘neighborliness’

By Louise Rachlis

“People don’t usually think of rental buildings as a home for the rest of their lives,” said Bill Brown, who has lived at the Windsor Arms Apartments at 150 Argyle Avenue for 34 years. “Many people here do.”

The Windsor Arms is an historic five-storey, 42-unit apartment building that once offered lobby and parking attendants and maid service when it opened in 1930. It was billed as “Ottawa’s first fireproof building.” The original owner of the building had his own apartment in it, which continues to be the largest apartment.

No such amenities now, but the building is a paragon of “neighborliness not nosiness,” said Brown, a retired teacher, as is his husband, John McKinven.

Brown credits the urban garden, which he and McKinven maintain meticulously, as one of the catalysts for camaraderie. “The garden changed how people interact with each other,” he said. “People began to stop and talk.”

In 2001, McKinven and Brown created a second garden, laid out in gravel, rocks and berms of the Ottawa Valley, meant to be seen from apartment windows. “It was the first time we presented a detailed plan to the owner, who paid for the plants….Right from the beginning, the owner, Sandy Smallwood of Andrex Holdings, has been restoring the historic details of the building. He doesn’t want to compromise the look of it. He even put storm windows on the inside of a few units to maintain the heritage status. He liked what we were doing with the garden and let us jump the sidewalk. The key element of our garden is the sidewalk. In the summer, 75 per cent of the people who go through it say something. People feel it’s an oasis on a summer day.”

In June 1984, the then landlord informed tenants that the building would be sold for conversion into a form of condominium but the tenants successfully fought off the conversion scheme. The previous owner converted the ground floor units into offices but the present owner, Andrex Holdings, returned all units to residential occupancy. The building is a designated Category 1 heritage building within the Centretown Heritage Conservation District.

“I’ve been involved in restoring old buildings since 1973,” said Sandy Smallwood of Andrex Holdings. “When I first started, there were no rent controls and landlords competed for tenants. Once the rent controls came on, I saw the relationship changing into one of landlords doing the basic minimum they had to do; they weren’t taking good care of their buildings…What happened is that the market got distorted and an adversarial relationship developed between tenants and landlord. The landlords felt ill done by. We always had that goal to restore the historic features, and it was a challenging time.”

However, thanks to “vacancy decontrol/recontrol”, when apartments starting turning over, they could then restore the apartments and increase the rents, said Smallwood.

“The historic buildings are a fertile environment for a caring community,” he said. “If you have ownership that is prepared to water the garden, it will flourish. Part of it is that you’re in a special place that has a history…What we’ve tried to do is celebrate that environment and to allow tenants to be in a place they’re glad to be in. We’re glad to have that working relationship; if we help them, they help us.”

His company has done the same thing at Strathcona Apartments on Laurier East in Sandy Hill, which they purchased in 1992. “One of the first things we did was put in accessible features in the building. What we thought would help seniors, also ended up helping mothers with strollers, all age groups. What a great investment doing that can be! We want to make all our buildings user friendly so people can stay throughout all their life stages.”

Strathcona has an active garden club and the oldest rooftop garden in the city. “There is such a community where people care about each other,” he said.

The garden at Windsor Arms spawned a composting program that six tenants take part in. “We hope they feel involved in the garden because their kitchen scraps end up there,” said McKinven.

For at least 20 years, the building has had a “sharing table” in the laundry room, where they leave furniture, books and knick knacks to share with others.

The two men are thrilled that the Windsor Arms now has a mix of young and old, young professionals, seniors, and five young families, who among other things have incorporated a children’s garden.

Most of the tenants don’t have cars “and don’t seem to care,” said Brown. There are just 12 spots in the building’s indoor garage.

“We find the current mix of families makes the place more welcoming,” said Brown. “We’ve always had families but often they would move out to the suburbs. These plan to raise their kids here.”

A year ago, Bill and tenant Susan Johnston began organizing house concerts in the building. About 30 attend, bringing their own chairs. “Most of us toss in $20, and all the money goes to the performers.”

The February concert was a musical afternoon and sing-a-long, with tenants providing food. It was a fundraiser for their second Little Library, this one for children’s books. March was Duo Brazil, Donna Brown and Andrew Mah.

A lecture series is an offshoot of the music concerts. The first speaker was Sandy Smallwood, speaking about the history of apartment buildings.

Three years ago the tenants of Windsor Arms reached out to their neighbors in Beaver Barracks to organize a “Please Walk Your Bikes” campaign on the Argyle sidewalk. “That opened new channels with our neighbors, running counter to the notion of renters not being involved in their building or community.”

They call their area and beyond “Museum Precinct”, and are working to rid the residential area of trucks and buses. “We’re not unique in Centretown. There are great things going on as part of the community at Options Bytown, CCOC Beaver Barracks, and Blair House as well.”

‘Compassionate Ottawa’ recognizes that care for one another at times of crisis and loss is everyone’s responsibility

By Louise Rachlis

Seventy-five per cent of Canadians recently polled say they want to die at home. Seventy per cent actually die in the hospital. Why is there such a huge gap between our end of life wishes and the actual outcome?

That’s a question being asked by Claudia Chowaniec and other members of the new Compassionate Ottawa initiative. “My husband was in a chronic care cancer ward,” said Chowaniec. “He was actively dying. He said, ‘I want to go home.’”

Claudia was exhausted and overwhelmed by years of caregiving. “How was I going to fulfill his last wish? Time was very short,” she said. “With a lot of effort and persistence I pulled together the resources we needed, but it wasn’t easy. I finally managed to get him home.”

That meant that family, neighbours and friends could come by to help and support at any time of day and night. “Suddenly I wasn’t on my own anymore,” she said. “A palliative care community-based doctor came each day to administer the pain management drugs, and equally important, to answer the difficult questions we had, such as ‘What will dying be like? How will we know when death is imminent?

Her husband died at home a week later, with her and her daughters all holding hands together.

 Last November a cross-section of community and palliative care health delivery organizations met to explore the idea of Ottawa becoming a “Compassionate Community,” a public health approach to end of life care.

The result of that meeting was “Compassionate Ottawa,” working to make Ottawa more compassionate for people diagnosed with life-threatening illness. Their draft tag line is “Reimagining Palliative Care.”

The coordinating group for “Compassionate Ottawa” consists of co-chairs Jackie Holzman and Jim Nininger, Claudia Chowaniec, Rob Cushman, Joanne Lefebvre, Barbara McInnes, Mac Evans and Maureen Molot. They are also compiling a group of project volunteers to assist.

“Many people believe that palliative care only kicks in the last few days of life,” said Jackie Holzman. “Not so. It is an approach that improves the quality of life of patients, families and communities facing life-threatening illness. It empowers families and communities with skills and resources, and strengthens social connectivity while preventing and relieving suffering by means of early intervention, assessment and treatment.”

“A successful implementation of a CC approach would result in a citizenry educated in how to access a coordinated network of resources,” said Jim Nininger.

“Conversations about death and dying would not be relegated to quiet corners, but would instead be expressed openly in the public sphere,” he said.  “Advanced care planning would become common practice in Ottawa.  There would be space for natural caregivers to give expression to their struggle with grief, loss, and to share their wisdom acquired through personal experience.”

According to the report on the November 2016 meeting, prepared by Cardus, those dealing with a life threatening disease face significant problems in our community.  “In spite of the significant efforts of thousands of natural care givers, volunteers and health care professionals, current palliative care services in our community are not sufficiently resourced to provide proper access, equity and quality of care and support to those who need it.  This situation will only get worse as our population ages.  It is unlikely that we will be able to rely on government to meet the increasing gap between current services and the need.”

Research has shown that a good death requires not only access to excellent medical care, but also to the non-medical aspects of care such as psychological, social and spiritual support. “Lack of social support and caregiver burnout is often the cause of hospitalization even though most people want to be cared for at home.  Thus, the Compassionate Community approach champions a social model of palliative care that complements medical care.”

Compassionate Ottawa will not deliver any professional  services itself, but will work with health and social care organizations already in our community to link these resources with those in need. 

Compassionate Ottawa will be an independent operation of the OutCare Foundation, which is chaired by the Honourable Sharon Carstairs. OutCare will provide an office and charitable status that will help them raise funds.  They have also applied for a Community Foundation of Ottawa grant to launch the initiative.

According to the Compassionate City Charter, “Compassionate Cities are communities that recognize that all natural cycles of sickness and health, birth and death, and love and loss occur every day within the orbits of its institutions and regular activities.  A Compassionate City is a community that recognizes that care for one another at times of crisis and loss is not simply a task solely for health and social services but is everyone’s responsibility.”

The Compassionate Community Charter describes in detail 13 social changes to be committed to by a city in order to embrace community empathy and to help reduce the negative social, psychological and medical impacts of serious illness, caregiving and bereavement in society.

Ottawa is the host city for the 5^th International Health and Palliative Care Conference, September 17-20, 2017.  Compassionate Ottawa has been invited to make a presentation at this event and hopes to show the world that Ottawa is on the path to become a compassionate city. 

“We need to educate everyone about what is palliative care,” said Claudia Chowaniec, “and how to access the community-based resources that exist, as well as guiding people through the difficult decisions that need to be made at the end of a loved one’s life - and ultimately our own as well.”

To learn more about the Compassionate Ottawa initiative contact Jackie Holzman at 949jfh@gmail.com or Jim Nininger at jrnininger@rogers.com.